Now We're Cooking with Grease!

Many days I'd dreaded coming to work.
I notice that if I'm not rewarded or acknowledged for the great work I do, I become very fragile and a lack of motivation occurs. Last Friday changed EVERYTHING for me. When my supervisor told me that she was going to have me put in a different office this next week.. Well, whatever. But I love it here.

I actually have my own desk here -- not a cubicle, but a desk in my own gigantic office because I'm a little girl. I have internet access, a telephone, my own drawers. AND I'm reading applications that come in to USC for acceptance hehehe suckers.

I know I sound really mischievious, but that's because I am :]
No worries, you can trust that all your applications get in on time cause I'm a good worker :D


But no, I don't just like coming into work because of the privacy and perks of having my OWN office, but Shauna the supervisor down here is amazing. She's a very strong, encouraging, black woman &she makes me feel so special down here. She ACTUALLY gives me work and compliments me for my good work. I hope I get more projects to do down here instead of where I usually work. What I usually would be doing is getting paid to waste my time sitting for 4-5 hrs a day. At least I feel productive down here, and in turn I get a friendly compliment on my work. I'm on a roll down here so much that Shauna says "Now we're cookin' with grease!" and she makes me laugh cause she's so nice and warm and down-to-earth, and different.

Every day since the New Year had past, I'd cried my little eyes out. Everything I do, everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of the great times that had occurred in my past relationship. C'mon. Even WAL-MART got to me. I started balling. But you know what, I do look forward to a good cry sometimes cause I know that there will be an end to all this. At the end of the road, I will find something -- or nothing. But nothing is something. So ha! No, seriously either I will, or something will find me and fix me :D I can't wait for that day, but I'll take it a day at a time. I've been doing great these past few days!

Not to be mistakened.. I really am still sad.
I don't understand why I'm so sad anyway, but we all will go through this once in our lives. Then you'll understand if you already don't.

I hate saying "I'm okay" when I'm not, but I hate to bother you with my mundane life. Thus, I pay the consequenses of companionship with a roll of bath tissue and puffy eyes. BUT LIKE I SAID!!! It'll all be over soon, AND I know that life goes on :]





Thanks for being there for me if you have.

goal reminders:
I'm going to lose 30lbs.
On the way, I'll be more flexible from the work outs and stretching
I'm going to quit smoking.

good things:
accomplished a lot today in the office.
i haven't cried for 1.5 days.
games are fun with close friends.
tabooooo
lots of snow
beautiful weather.