out with the old, in with the new year

To be totally honest, 2008 was not a good year for me overall. Of course, there are a few exceptions -- I managed to achieve a lot more than normal. I worked my ass off to get out of academic probation, and I'm still keeping a steady with my grades. I'm blessed to have two jobs; both of which are rewarding jobs; I've asked for and received two raises within the year. My boyfriend and I have a very stable relationship, and while life is tough, my family is still scraping by. It's totally a blessing in disguise.

Here come the downers:
For those of you who don't know, my car is pretty much being repoed with 72 hours. So long, Hugo. Hugo is the name I gave my '05 VW Jetta. My car got the name because its gender was so vague. To me, the color and look are too manly to give it a female name, but it's not exactly feminine. It reminded me of a designer.. or a feminine man, thus the name i guess. Anyway, he's clean and ready to take off randomly within 3 days.

I keep getting these random phone calls from credit card companies and banks telling me that I am overdrafted stupid amounts of money, and that I'm usually the primary holder of the account, and that my account is joint with a true family member of mine. It's annoying, and very serious. WHAT THE F***. I'm trying to build good credit here, what the hell is my family doing to me? Has it gotten so hard, you have to slap my innocent name on there to get your money and selfishly make bad credit for me?! ugh.

I still owe a 900dollar debt to Bank of America (but that's not so bad because I've been good with my monthly payments).

There's a lot to think about right now. I could say that we are at our lowest at this point, but I'm so happy to be able to see the good side as opposed to the bad.

I have to remind myself everyday of the things that are good in my life. I work two jobs. They make me tired as hell, but I'm able to pay my bills. I am learning to be more independent. I don't ask for money from my parents. I'm learning to stand on my own two feet as I'm separating myself from my family phone bill and paying my own monthly. I've put my foot in the door for a teaching career, and I'm graduating in TWO SEMESTERS. I've stopped smoking for the past 3 days (and it looks like I'm on a good track -- i just don't like the pressure), I've pulled myself out of academic probation. Managed to do a lot more for my family this year. Was able to save money.

I'm still setting little goals here and there. I want to save enough to buy my own bucket car. I want to move out within the next two years and find a good job as a substitute. As far as smaller goals, I'm going to solve the rubik's cube, and then time myself (nerdy, I know).

It feels good to vent.
:)


I thought I needed to throw away all the bad and good feelings of 08, and give 2009 a proper welcome. Hope everyone has a great new year.

Our First Christmas II

At his family party, I won this:




I was feeling lucky, and my name was drawn :]
yayyyy.

It's actually a great gift for someone like me -- even if I'm on Cingular and the phone was meant for a Sprint user. I had the idea to switch over to Sprint to start paying my own phone bill (almost everything for about 30 dollars a month = queen of deals). It's great opportunity to stand on my own two feet (even if it's such a small bill to pay).

One more thing. Today, I start my Nicotene Polacrilex Gum thanks to Debbie Tan :D
I am scared.

I've set aside a few goals for me to accomplish during this break so that I'll spend more time doing that, and less time thinking of smoking. My first goal is to solve the Rubik's Cube. Once I am able to do that, I will set a timed goal.

I'm brainstorming and thinking of other things I can do to prevent myself from wanting a cigarette. Any suggestions?

Here goes nothing.

Our first Christmas I

This is the first Christmas that Soch and I are spending together.
Not to mention, this is also the first Christmas I didn't peek under the tree to count how many presents I had because very simply put, I just didn't care to get anything this year. I wasn't expecting anything at all to tell the truth. I love presents, but this Christmas is definitely different.

While a lot of pockets are hurting (not to say mine's not), I managed to really save up just enough to get every sibling a gift and a little something for my mom [and dad (thanks to the white elephant game I played with my friends yesterday)]. I currently have less than $50 in my bank account, and the gifts I bought (and made for Debbie) were not too expensive really.. so I barely got by, but I'm really glad that everyone's happy. I really feel like everyone in my family deserved a little something even if it was just pajama pants and a dollar hello kitty bag filled with pad paper, pens, and small treats. Yes, it was very simple, but I feel good about everything.

In fact, I was talking to Soch about Christmas and what it really means -- how everyone is so involved, and so consumed in shopping, material things..

It's really a celebration for Jesus. It's a time of thanksgiving, love, remembrance.

I hope everyone is as happy as I am this year -- I'm happy that everyone else is happy.

[:

the time is coming near

Christmas time is coming, and I'm excited because this Christmas will be a very special one for me. <3

I haven't really been able (for the past couple of years, in fact) to buy much during Christmas. I didn't get gifts last year -- only little things for people. This year, I put a lot of time and effort into gifts and had a little more to spare so I'm giving back to those who've done a lot of me these past few years to show my appreciation.



After Christmas, when I have the funds for it, I'm going to buy a couple of Nicotene Prolocrilex chewies &my goal is to stop smoking for good. It's not impossible even when it seems like a difficult task. "Si Se Puede" is what I'll keep telling myself.

This will be my Christmas gift to myself.

Final-ly Over

Finals are done with.
A 40 multiple choice exam: not so bad.
BUT 3 take home tests all of which are in essay form -- a 10 page, a 7 page, and a 2 hour timed essay in which i was able to produce 3.5 pp. They were completed all in the same week. I deserve a f*cking trophy dammit.

I guess I've got my trophy. It's Debbie Tan who has allowed me to speak with her after these accomplished assignments. *sigh (of relief)

I hope I do well. Waiting is all I can do at this point.

CHRISTMAS is coming! <3
&I'm excited for my massage this Saturday :]

Excited.

Kevin Lyman, you're tickling my fancy. Please don't let me down. *Crossing my fingers.

Birthday

Happy Birthday Me and Scott!
We started off trying to eat at Battambong, but place was closed due to a wedding event. A lot of fail. Then we tried the Boiling Crab which I particularly don't care for. I like the Red Claw better, but I remembered that Scott had his heart set out for seafood. We did not want to wait an hour +, so we went to a place called BOAT House down the street from all this craziness. Not crowded whatsoever so we settled, and the food and prices were actually not that bad. We ended the night at BJs where we all ordered cooookies :] mm.

I'm a little lazy to write, and I really must go to bed now so I'll leave you with pictures from dinner and more.

Thanks for all of you who made it.

my own motivation

all by myself.

Today's project: Spark Plugs/Oil Change
I replaced the spark plug wires of Soch's 1990 240SX not much before I gave him a complete oil change.









Nice. I am ready to become a mechanic. Do I have any clients?

love the unknown

Recently a lot of people have been blogging -- especially about the wildfire. They blog in a sense of fear, but it's a different kind of fear. While fear comes along with concern for our loved ones, we act as if we are scared of nature. I've come to realize that we are not one with Nature. We try to destroy it, terminate it, attack it, force ourselves onto it, rape it but Nature will always be stronger. There is no way to beat it, but we've developed so many different forms of technology which can help us learn what it is our planet is and will do, and what we can do to work with it. So fear not.

Fear has now the meaning of all lost hope. Why are we in despair?

Sure, it's a lot easier for me to say (that's probably what you're thinking since I don't live right by the hills which are burning), but I offer you the idea that your land will prosper after this fire. What was once dry and ready to ignite and act as fuel to these flames will once again fertilize itself, and the hills you see glowing red will transform a vibrant green.

You think this is bad, but many people don't realize what is coming up against us. We've got a big earthquake on the way, and if the earthquake is big enough, a tsunami will hit washington and northern california's coast. Yes, many will be hurt then too.. We will never beat Nature, and while it is sad to lose someone you love to these natural disasters, it's all one huge gamble. The best thing to do is to be prepared, to stay calm, and hope. For if you lose all your belongings, your property, the sentimental value, you'll be provided with the foundation to build a sturdy life and home again.

Hope.

time well spent.

This weekend was a lot of fun. I got to spend time with some friends I haven't seen in a while, spend a night at Soch's, much more. Both he and I have been able to spend a lot of time doing things that we normally wouldn't bother each other with--only very unusually, I really enjoy doing "guy things" and he likes to help me with my sewing and DIY projects. Some of the things we do on a weekly basis: letting me drive his manual trannie, reinforcing the Physics I've learned through science projects, sharing thoughts about our imaginary inventions, performing surgery on his car together (that is one dirty job).

And tonight as we ate our 10 dollar little caesar's meal (which was a deal for what we got!) right outside in the parking lot, I realized that I'm truly happy and appreciative of what we have. It's been a great 8 months, and everything tells me that this is a relationship that I should really cherish -- one of the most important ones that I've ever experienced.

To top it all off with a cherry, I got SCRUBS: season 7 for my birthday!
So excited.

Cheers.

abhor the day i turn 22.

I don't like even numbers -- definitely not when they're paired together especially. All I know is it's another year of experience, and I'm ready for the challenges of the next year and the next few years. I'm very happy with the way my life has turned out the past few years of my life. I've got no regrets, hold no grudges, no anger. I'm happy :] I take my life one step at a time, and I've managed to push myself hard, and I have gotten really far: farther than I would have imagined. I'm doing stuff people would be doing during the Masters/credentials program. There's a few things I still need to take care of, but I'm utterly content. That is possibly why I don't really mind turning 22 or it could be that I didn't experience the craziness of being 21. NAH I don't think it's that one..

1 more week. oh joy.

Stick it Where the Sun Don't Shine.

I stalled and broke Soch's car. YAY!
Oh, yay cause I'm bomb diggity behind the wheel, but I made one mistake and I took the next best thing away from him buahahaha.

I've known how to drive stick for a while, but I think way too much and I thought I was in neutral, but I was in first, took my foot off the clutch and stalled it -- probably draining the battery :]

WOOPS.

My First Time

I have successfully, for the first time, created something with a sewing machine! I've made pjs before, but they were lame cause they came out so funky. Today I am enthralled.

I mentioned before that I saved up enough money to buy myself a laptop -- something that I am extremely proud of. My laptop is my trophy. Not only was it a great deal, but it symbolizes my independence. It's such a prize, and I want to handle it with care.

So I bought myself a hard cover case for it to prevent scratches on the surface, but I wanted a sleeve for ultimate protection. I perused ebay almost endlessly, and there was nothing unique about these cases. I wanted something to suit ME. SO, I decided that there is nothing scary about the sewing machine! I went to Joann's Fabrics, picked out a sturdy quilted fabric and with much enthusiasm for the project, started going ape shit over all the things I could add onto my case -- little trinkets and accessories. I drooled over vintage buttons, colorful and unique iron-ons and beads; first thing's first: I decided I should get the sleeve done first before jumping the gun.

Once I got home, I prepared a plan and worked diligently for 4 hours straight. HA. Let's just say it was a project of frustration, and trial and error. It was definitely not the easiest thing to do despite its simplicity, and despite the crooked stitching. I figured it wasn't so bad because it displays my hard-work and adds some character to it.

It's not complete yet, but I'm really happy with the results :]

I'll let you see for yourself:

IM IN LITTLE TOKYO RIGHT NOW :]
Beeh wants me to say that he is near belligerent land.

A Reason to Celebrate

All Americans today have a reason to celebrate even if the candidate that they voted for didn't make the election. Yesterday, voters decided that they were no longer too scared of the unknown -- that we didn't want to look back; Instead, we move forward into the future. We made history. We've come so far. The history of America is studded with breakthroughs followed by consolidation. Obama's victory is a victory for all of us. It proclaims the end of the dark years of the Bush regression. It's time for another breakthrough in American history.

We are hopeful.

Smoke the Poll

I just returned from my polling place just a few minutes ago. I arrived there at 7:03am and was surprised that there was one hell of a line already. Luckily, I was just dropping of my ballot. Now we wait for others, and the results :] I'm glad it's gloomy and kind of a rainy day, it feels very warm to me, and with the lines people have to wait in, it's nicer to hang out with more warm-hearted people.


Vote wisely.
I'll be updating again shortly.

Ready, go

I've just finished filling in the bubbles of my official ballot.
I can't wait to turn it in tomorrow. The lines will be packed, but this election could make history books. I'm psyched.

I'm voting to exercise my rights and powers as a citizen of this country, but I'm also voting for history.

This is fantastic :]

Note to self:

Things I need to do:

1. Register for Spring Semester Classes
2. Look for a School Summer program to work for this Summer
3. Begin looking into/applying for Credential/Master programs

I'm looking forward to:

1. Graduating. 2 more semesters to go! :]
2. Taking up more hours to have my own class instead of subbing after school
3. Becoming a full time sub during school hours
4. VOTING TOMORROW and the lines we're all going to have to wait in. HA.

Teacher, teeacher

I worked at two schools the past couple days, and it has been pretty fun. I like it a lot although it is really tiring. I wonder how our past teachers did it for us. I think that teaching is a very noble profession. I don't think teachers get the appreciation they really should be getting. I don't understand how they do it every day of the week...

EXHAUSTED.

more than exist

Most of the people that I know who know about the election and know about the propositions, how they'd vote, what we as young adults want, what our economy needs, etc. aren't voting. I know the electoral college makes it so that the count of our vote is so minuscule (the presidential one anyway) it seems to not matter, but I felt like this election should have provoked young adults to want to vote. The topics on the ballot are "hot" topics right now -- really controversial.

We're talking about rights that could ultimately be taken away. We're talking about health issues, animal rights issues, infrastructure, better roads, the right to choose -- woman's right to choose, abortion, drugs, energy, issues that we'll invest a lot of time and money into, etc.

I just pray that our country might be placed in safe hands -- that God protect and guide our leader to do the best for all because I believe both candidates, if put to the test, could really do something for our country, but will they? I hope whoever makes it into office really really cares for the country.

On first read, this is how I'm planning to vote:

Obama/Biden
1: NO
2: YES (huge farms that mass produce their pork by allowing a female pig to get knocked up back to back while she is immobile for almost all of her life, put small farms and farmers out of business; the reduction of animal cruelty in big farms will give business back to smaller farms. A YES on this vote does not put farms out of business; IVE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS PROP FOR OVER 6 MOS. NOW. Health issues are involved -- waste of mass produced pigs are being placed in fields the size of a football field next to homes causing higher risk in illness and disease).
3: YES and NO -- I haven't decided how I'd vote. Both sides bring up compelling arguments. I'm trying to decide who has more fallacies in their argument.
4: YES. I'm pro-life/CHOICE depending on the situation. Politically, I'm pro-choice meaning that I believe that woman should have a right to her own body. True. I'm pro-life through church, but choose to keep my beliefs out of politics and out of this election. I think it's important that a grown woman has a right to choose what she herself would like to do with her pregnancy. Those who are not mature enough, should not make choices as huge as this one. Someone at the age of 13, 14, 15, should not be able to get secret abortions. This says that they can inform SOMEONE, ANYONE. It doesn't have to be their parents, but someone who cares about them, and wants to help them. That those guardians be allowed to know first about the abortion before the procedure so that EVERYONE is safe. This prop is called Sarah's Act because a 15 year old girl secretly got an abortion and died from it and might have been able to live if her parents had known because perhaps they have more of an idea about her medical record than she.
5: YES
6: YES
7: NO
8: NO. I do not support banning gay marriage. The sanctity of heterosexual marriage is already down the drain so why should we be able to choose whether or not homosexual marriage should be banned. Assuming the relationship is monogamous -- hey, it's just the same. We all bleed red. We're all human beings. Those who love each other should be able to share, live in peace, and be married. If you're not for gay marriage, then don't get married GAY, but don't punish other human beings because of the fear that they're different. It's almost like not giving blacks the right to vote because of the color of their skin?
9: NO (most likely)
10: YES
11: YES
12: YES

I don't know if these votes are swaying more left of right, but I actually have no biased opinions because I researched on my own, made my own decisions without the influence of knowing how other credible people would vote.

I really encourage people to vote this November 4th election especially if you are registered. Make a difference!

frightful delight

I am honestly horrified because I know tomorrow will come. Tomorrow starts a new beginning for me -- a new chapter in my life. I will officially hold the name Ms. Justine! I maintain my own classroom of 20-25 elementary school kids. That's creepy!

New beginnings are always scary for me because I'm scared of walking into the unknown, but the only thing that's constant in life is what's unknown. UGH. Growing up is a pain, but it's all worth it in the end. I'm just excited to learn from this experience. I know I'll learn a lot, and I can't wait to make a difference. :]

A Dreamer

So I've compiled a list of things I'd hope to see by the time my birthday rolls around.. These are things I'd like to either get myself, or I hope somehow they would appear on my doorstep when I come home.


















shopping spreeeeeee





i'm gonna end here, because quite frankly, I don't really care for anything. These things are things I've been obsessed with for way too long already, and I could live another year without these things, but I really want dinner! hahahahaha

kick. push.

While I've managed to really put myself through a lot the past few months-- finding a new job, resigning from my old one, at the same time juggling school and the commute back and forth, it's all been worth it.

I haven't seen my "friends" in what seems like forever, but my life is not empty without them. The ones that are dear to me are still very close to my heart. The rest of them should be happier without me in the picture, and that doesn't bother me one bit because ever since the beginning, I've been the scapegoat, whether or not you want to believe it. I was an easy target, and I let you easily target me. Anyway, it's good to see that things have fallen back to the way they were before.. you know, cause we all have the time to move backwards.

I'll see you around some day. For now, I'm moving on.

happiest place on earth until you're struck with indescribable stomach pains which then you find out might be ulcers and have to go home.