frightful delight

I am honestly horrified because I know tomorrow will come. Tomorrow starts a new beginning for me -- a new chapter in my life. I will officially hold the name Ms. Justine! I maintain my own classroom of 20-25 elementary school kids. That's creepy!

New beginnings are always scary for me because I'm scared of walking into the unknown, but the only thing that's constant in life is what's unknown. UGH. Growing up is a pain, but it's all worth it in the end. I'm just excited to learn from this experience. I know I'll learn a lot, and I can't wait to make a difference. :]

A Dreamer

So I've compiled a list of things I'd hope to see by the time my birthday rolls around.. These are things I'd like to either get myself, or I hope somehow they would appear on my doorstep when I come home.


















shopping spreeeeeee





i'm gonna end here, because quite frankly, I don't really care for anything. These things are things I've been obsessed with for way too long already, and I could live another year without these things, but I really want dinner! hahahahaha

kick. push.

While I've managed to really put myself through a lot the past few months-- finding a new job, resigning from my old one, at the same time juggling school and the commute back and forth, it's all been worth it.

I haven't seen my "friends" in what seems like forever, but my life is not empty without them. The ones that are dear to me are still very close to my heart. The rest of them should be happier without me in the picture, and that doesn't bother me one bit because ever since the beginning, I've been the scapegoat, whether or not you want to believe it. I was an easy target, and I let you easily target me. Anyway, it's good to see that things have fallen back to the way they were before.. you know, cause we all have the time to move backwards.

I'll see you around some day. For now, I'm moving on.

happiest place on earth until you're struck with indescribable stomach pains which then you find out might be ulcers and have to go home.

Making a difference.

For the past few months, I've really worked my ass off. I'll tell ya, I got some crazy looks from people telling me about how unfair my life is, was, whatever it is. At some point, it might have gotten unfair, but I'm so glad that everything's paid off. I got my boyfriend back in school, and I'm finally making enough to more than just "get by."

How do I compare to others financially? My situation sucks still, but I keep pushin. In my family there are 5 kids including myself. I am the eldest so I find it my responsibility to take care of my other siblings to make sure that we help out and do their part. Between my parents, only my mom works which means the only income for our family comes from my mom who doesn't make quite enough to satisfy probably more than half of us, and there's me -- only making enough for myself.

Whatever though. I asked for a raise, and I got it. I know what I'm worth. I'm kickin' ass right now... there are more thoughts I have. I wouldn't write about my financial situation with no connection to something else.

Point is: At my new job, I'll essentially be making less cash money, but I can't be happier with this decision because I know that I'm going to learn so much from these children, and I'm going to be making a BIG difference in their lives.

I'm really excited.
2 Days in counting.